The Best Gift We Can Give Our Children?

The Best Gift We Can Give Our Children? Growing Ourselves.

I'm not a parenting expert. I'm not a psychologist. I'm just a dad who made a lot of mistakes.

But I've come to believe something deeply: the best gift we can give our children isn’t perfect advice or a carefully crafted path—it’s our own growth.

Some of the most meaningful moments in my life are the ones where I’ve looked back and said, “Wow… I was an idiot.”

Because those moments? They’re honest. They’re raw. And if we’re open, they’re full of transformation.

When Parenting Doesn’t Go As Planned

When I was younger, I swore I’d do better than my parents. I’d raise my kids more progressive. More modern. More intentional.

Now, with a 20-year-old son who’s grown into a beautiful human, I can see that I made just as many mistakes as my parents—maybe even more. But at least I made mine in a more progressive way. 😉

Parenting is the hardest job I’ve ever had. And it’s nothing like the perfect pictures in parenting magazines. Raising kids has shaken me—shaken my beliefs, my identity, and my abilities to the core.

Even as a child, I dreamed of being a dad. And I love that role deeply. But it hasn’t been easy.

The Mistakes That Taught Me the Most

I wanted to teach my son everything. I covered the walls with motivational quotes, saved every dollar to send him to great schools, and booked every fun holiday we could afford.

I read poetry aloud, showed him TED Talks, and gave long, heartfelt lectures. But instead of bringing us closer, it created distance.

My efforts made him feel judged, controlled—like he had to hide his truth to fit the version I had in my head.

I spent so much energy trying to shape him into a “good man,” when I should have just trusted he already was one.

Children Aren’t Reflections—They’re Their Own Universe

Children are gifts from the future. They carry dreams, talents, and purposes we can’t fully understand yet.

It’s like finding an unidentified seedling and being told, “Care for this for 18 years.” You don’t know if it’s going to grow into a tree, a vine, or something entirely new.

But if you’re anything like me, you assume your child will be like you.

If I’m an oak tree, of course my child must be a tree too, right?

But my son showed me something different. He’s kind. Compassionate. Sensitive in ways I never understood.

Maybe he wasn’t a seed at all. Maybe he was an egg. A completely different being altogether.

Instead of trying to mold him, I should’ve supported him. Trusted him. Loved him without expectation.

Our Kids Learn By Watching Us

When I look at my son now, I realize he didn’t grow into the man he is because of my words.

He became who he is because of what he saw me do.

He didn’t absorb the speeches—I know that now. What shaped him was watching me try, fail, show up, apologize, and keep going.

We do need to feed, clothe, and protect our children. But if we really want to help them reach their full potential, we need to grow too.

If I could do it again, I’d still be silly, still show up, still love hard—but I’d give fewer speeches. I’d let him stumble more. I’d trust his path more than my plan.

Be the Mirror They Need

Every child is born a genius in their own way. The best way to help them discover it? Become our own.

Let them see us fall and get back up. Let them hear us say, “I was wrong. I’m learning.” Let them watch us suffer, struggle, and still love.

That’s how we teach self-love, perseverance, and resilience.

Because one day, they’ll go their own way. We can’t walk the path for them or smooth it out.

But we can be an example of what growth, kindness, and real strength look like.

The best gift we can give our children isn’t a perfect childhood.

It’s a parent who keeps growing.